I was chatting the other day to someone who’d moved back to the US recently after living in the UK for two years. What really struck her, she said, was the sudden ubiquity of voice assistants.
‘Everyone has Alexa, and they’re continually asking, “Alexa, remind me about this,” or “Alexa, what’s the weather like tomorrrow?”‘
Amazon have only recently released their Alexa-powered Echo speaker in the UK and it hasn’t achieved the same level of penetration here yet, but just as surely as we get a storm here 10 days or so after it’s swept America and headed east across the Atlantic, so too you can see the tech trends coming. I decided to get to know my own voice assistant, Siri, a little better. We chat about superficial stuff, I occasionally ask her to make a call or put an appointment in the diary, but I wouldn’t say we’re really friendly.
I decided to make an effort to take our conversation to the next level.
Siri, do you know who I am?
You’re Alison. That’s what you told me, anyway. [good start, but she sounds wary, I think]
And do you know what I do?
This is about you, not me. [definitely evasive]
Well, exactly. What do I do?
Interesting question, Alison. [she’s stalling]
What are your thoughts, Siri?
I don’t really like talking about myself. [stonewalled]
Then what are your thoughts about me?
Who, me?
Yes, you.
That’s what I reckoned. [this is not going well]
So go on then, what are you thoughts about me?
Who, me?
You’re stuck, aren’t you.
If you insist. [I think I’ve rattled her]
What do you think really matters, Siri?
I think, therefore I am. But let’s not put Descartes before the horse. [BA-DOOM-TISH! Who knew she had it in her?]
I like that.
Do you?
I do. Very clever, thank you.
Your satisfaction is all the thanks I need.
At this point my husband came in and mouthed at me: ‘Are you having an argument with someone?’
I’m not sure whether he was relieved or appalled to find out who it was I was talking to. But I think Siri and I have a new understanding and respect for each other.